It’s currently mid-end November in Los Angeles. We had our “first” rain on Sunday. Although the weather is always lovely, this time of the year, when it begins to get cold and chilly, I can’t help but feel a bit emotional. Holidays are coming up, family will be in town.
I am a 29 y/o female. Born and raised in Los Angeles. I love the city of angels, I was raised to have close ties to my family here and therefore, I never left for college or graduate school. I finished my doctorate degree 2 years ago (end of Dec. 2014). I studied cancer immunotherapy. It’s funny, 2 years ago, all I could remember was the research I did and how proud I was for advancing science and how prestigious it felt.
Today, I feel completely different. I currently work in a biotech/pharma company in Los Angeles as a scientist. This was my first job out of graduate school, for most of my life, academia was all I knew. The real working world is really shocking, culture shock. You learn so many new things about yourself, life, and people in general. Your mindset about your lifestyle and culture begins to change. I don’t remember what it was like to be feel proud of my doctorate degree anymore, all I know, is that work is hard, being an adult is difficult, relationships are terrible to maintain, and the people you meet and have known for years may have a double life.
My father was recently diagnosed with bladder cancer, my job has been very unstable due to lay offs, my favorite work colleagues have moved on to better careers, I broke up with a man that I thought I was going to marry this year, and a friend that I’ve known for 2 years showed me gestures of love but ended up breaking my heart.
Like most people, times like these are hard. Loneliness and emptiness fills my heart. At the moment, as a lost soul, I hope this blog will help remind me to face the world with honesty, humility and courage.